waiting for nelly

On the Way home ...

2007-02-06T03:34:00.000-08:00

its a bit cold here.....

Final post - this blog was entitled Waiting for Nelly and now she is here in ST J Road....she is still adorable currently pushing her baby walker round the kitchen and laughing to herself after eating a lunch of pasta, chicken and tomatoes...raisins, bananas and Fruit Compote...!

here are some images from her first few days in London..

I would like to thank everyone for reading this and for all your lovely texts emails and calls of support - it has been the most wonderful experience of our lives and glad we could have shared it with so many friends...looking forward to introducing you to Nelly in the near future.....

louise rob and nelly norton!

I like my bath now!

Reading at breakfast....

Off to work ....

So this is home...where are all the waitresses? haven't you got a lift ....

Nelly asleep in the skycot - a rare ocurrence during the thirteen houf flight! apart from falling out while looking at me!

Daddy- enjoying Borat..he did laugh a lot !
on the plane .......

Last Day in Hong Kong

2007-02-06T02:29:00.000-08:00

Happy SHoppers....

I could get the tsate for this ! 41st floor living...

My last sleep in Hong Kong before the long flight home....

Star Ferry or the MTR....????

Kung Hey Fat Choi...great new year of the pig......

Just near the hotel room .........nice ...

WAKE UUUPPPPP >>>>............

WOW where are we .....?

OK so that is Hong Kong.......!

My first trip on an underground..!

Hold tight please....

A light Dim SUm luch with my friend Mei....

Followed by music from a violin quartet...

and a little afternoon shopping........

Busy packing ...almost done - hardest thing to do is to work out what to feed her and pack when - ! She has such a large appetite that she will eat most things but is always hungry...

woke up early this morning and Nelly loved sitting on the windowsill looking down from the 41st floor onto HK...an amazing view...

Breakfast - in the far corner of the dining room away from the business people..but as usual she made friends with lots of waiters..! then back to the room to get ready for the day - We took the MTR to Kowloon and shopped along the Nathan Road..then met with Jane and Paul and their little girl Mei for lunch see picture

sorry all thepics are a bit disjpinted but I was halfway through posting this in HK and lost the connection so have had to wait until we got home to complete the blog...!

Pictures from Nelly's last day in CHina

2007-02-02T02:38:00.001-08:00

Pictures that I did not manage to post last night....quite an emotional time leaving China yesterday we arrived so excited and nervous to meet her - enjoyed all the time we were there and are now taking her away from her country and culture...

Another moving day ...

Nelly with her favourite waitress Tami at breakfast....

Strictly Chinese Dancing

Another hilarious sign....spitting prohibited are we in the right country!

Tai Chi in the park

Rob and Nelly at the infamous White Swan

Nelly with the waitress at the Thai restaurant where we bought her congee most evenings

Nelly getting active at Guangzhou airport

Nelly checks in to the 41st floor of the Renaissance Harbour View

Daddy checks into Room Service!

Day...February 1st - last stage of journey....left Guangzhou, arrived HK

2007-02-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

sorry guys no photos this evening....not sure in which suitcase to find the cables!

Rob went off to get the visa this morning at 8 so I spent the morning doing breakfast ...final shopping and real haggling in the last few hours before making a dash to the supermarkets to get Nelly the Rice Milk that we mix with her formula - we will change what she eats when she gets back as the Chinese formula is full of sugar...but hey at the moment it is easier to keep with it just like the dummy!

I then raced back through the scorpion market in time to say goodbye to Julia and Tim and family, it was so special to have spent really precious moments with them these last few days and we hope to see them and their lovely boys on Nelly's birthday party ..

so then we were off to the airport to check in for our 6 30 flight, she crawled all around the gate ...exhausted herself chomped on yet another teething biscuit....,the flight was packed and we were all prepared with food and milk to feed to Nelly on the way up - she was fine after the milk even though we finished that before take off! but then because the flight was only 40 minutes once we were up ... we were on our way down and that was when the trouble started! scream ...scream ...scream ... she did...but then fell fast asleep on my shoulder and did not wake until we got into a cab in Hong Kong!

checked into the hotel at about 9 with our small sleeping baby and we had our room upgraded to one on the top floor with a fabulous harbour view straight across to Kowloon . Nelly slept in the buggy for an hour while we ate our room service supper...

She is still the most adorable baby - God I bet you are getting bored of reading that but it is true!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow - up for breakfast and then the day pottering around Kowloon etc ...the view from opur room is fab and Nelly loves lights so she is in for a treat tomorrow night! then a long flight home....

a demain .....

Day Nine - PENULTIMATE DAY

2007-01-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

Getting used to this bath thing...OK a bit small but I will learn to like the real bath one day soon!

So hot today - I had to get this sunhat only 5 yuan all of 35 pence!

Just because she is ....

OFFICIAL - she has a PRC passport

I want get to my new home too - .....

HURRAH ...we love China, loved our time here but BOY are we ready to go home ( as our American friends in the hotel would say! )

Nelly slept OK last night and I slept really well ...apologies for lack of service the last few nights it caught up with me - she had an early night and then woke at 6 and I put her in bed with me for an hour...she kept losing her dummy in the night as it fell out of the cot - so first thing on the list on Saturday on the way home are Cot bumpers.. ( she has also just screamed because her leg was caught in the bars...we now have made makeshift cot bumper out of the duvet.. When we got back from dinner I popped out to collect the final bag of laundry and by the time I got back Rob had got the Wriggle Monster out of her clothes, into her baby gro and asleep in bed - in about 12 minutes!

Today was the day to collect Nelly's passport but also the designated day to get the packing done..so Rob took Nelly out for the morning and did what all proud Dads do and spent money on her - he bought five dresses and a pair of shoes and still got change out of a twenty quid note! I completed the visa application with the guide and swore that she has never been involved in an act of terrorism or a member of a terrorist organisation!!! ( who in their right minds would answer in the affirmative if applying for a British Visa! )

We then took ourselves over the bridge to Sam's shop to see the fakes he had lined up for us...a lovely guy and we bought a few things... all very happy with our purchases - a great Gucci Baby Bag...and few other bits for Rob and I ....sorry for all those who asked us to buy them things but there is only so much space and well you can get flights to HK these days for £299 and the train is only an hour to Guangzhou for all of £18!!!!

We discovered a great little shop today run by a UK charity called Good Rock and all the profits form the shop go to an orphanage in Guangzhou - lovely stuff and we truly stocked up knowing that the money is going to a good cause, had to avoid the numerous shop owners, who purport to being our best friends and our baby the cutest they have ever seen to get there but really worth it, they also have a website
some beautiful things and we managed to add to the pile of things that we are buying for Nelly to give as presents on either adoption day or her birthday _ I think probably the former as this will be January 24th which is the date the adoption became official, we will celebrate her life and also remember her China Mummy and Daddy so seems like a good time to give gifts that we bought during our stay in China.

We had dinner with the other family we have spent time with here who were with us on the day we met Nelly and they met their little girl Isabelle, we went to the local Thai restaurant and had a nice meal, although Nelly tires herself out so much every day by crawling in the room, pulling herself up against the bed, trying to walk and generally laughing, joking and mimicking other people must use up a lot of energy..so she was very grizzly...but still managed to eat a whole bowl of congee..

Anyway Rob is off for the visa tomorrow at 8 so I will finish off the packing and do some last minute shopping before leaving the Victory Hotel at 3 for the airport...

May not get to post tomorrow night as not sure what time we will get to the hotel ...

catch you soon

2007-01-30T05:58:00.000-08:00

We're all going to the zoo .....

OKJ so whats the big deal with all these animals...!

Organised trip this morning with the guide and some of his other clients - a nice group mostly LA / San Fransisco and we went to the zoo ,by the time we got there most of the girls were asleep...but it was fun see images above - dead tired again tonight, had a monster nose bleed at 4 in the morning for about half an hour so really pooped! Following the zoo trip we had lunch with the couple on our right from San Fransisco, they are staying at our hotel rather than the White Swan we had great fun with them and their little girl Rosalie - Mellick's grandmother was called Nelly so she loved her !

Not shopping again Daddy...! we needed teething biscuits for madame so headed over the bridge to real china...also managed to wander around a weird mall and discover some great fake places - going back tomorrow to look at more stuff- lovely Gucci Baby bag!

looking experienced already!

off to bed - sorry for lack of text...tomorrow is packing and we have a schedule...Rob also has to collect Nelly's passport and thrn we need to comeplete the Via Application - with the joke questions such as - have you ever been a member of a terrorist orgsanisation!!!!!!!

day seven

2007-01-29T06:38:00.000-08:00

PURE INDULGENCE ....HER FIRST TRIP TO STARBUCKS...

Tonight is a picture book ( v tired and I already lost the first thing I wrote so ....) - we took Nelly shopping again this time to the TEEMALL...all shiny and new 7 floors of airconned (it ws 21 degrees outside today!)retail, just bought a few bibs, Rob and I tried to buy a few items for ourselves but the shop did not accept visa so ...

went to starbucks for coffee and she had a young couple cooing over her and making a fuss taking pictures!

SUCH AMAZING BUILDINGS..THIS MUST BE THE TALLEST IN GUANGZHOU

I had to give Rob the camera to take this as I would not have got it all in ...phenomenal, the place was like a buiding site. They are in the middle of extending the Metro. SO much wealth too, on the way there we saw a Porsche dealership, followed by a Bentley, Ferrari and Maserati dealers..!!

SUCH CHANGES

SO MUCH BUILDING WORK...

AND JUST AROUND THE CORNER....these guys having their lunch contemplating a pile of rubble how long to turn that into one of those!

QUICK TRIM ANYONE...DOING ANYTHING NICE TONIGHT?!

a little street where we bought some Chinese music and some children's CDs...where you could also get a short back and sides and a colour - some woman dyeing a guys hair dark with a toothbrush!

This made us laugh - sack the translator!

I HAAAAATE having my nappy changed ..and this
helps to make her laugh! is it a hat ...is it a plane....not it is a Pamper!

Chinese New Year decorations at the mall...

PS Rob also had frogs for lunch, and this evening at dinner with another of the UK families in a Cantonese restaurnat with no English menus, he and Gilles picked out our dinner (fish) from a tank...again I had to do a mad dash to the Thai restaurant to get Miss Nelly a big bowl of Congee with chicken as she was having none of the Heinz baby pot I took with me just in case......

Tomorrow we are off to the Zoo to see some pandas! three more days to go - I love the place but now keen to get the papers sorted and go home!

Over and Out for the night as I am dead on my feet -

Day SIx - five more days before we are home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

Morning - I had my hair washed today!

A good night's sleep -I managed to get Nelly to bath in the bathroom sink without too many problems and she let me wash her hair with no problem, but breakfast was as usual a feeding frenzy ...

Excuse me, don't you live in Dulwich??!

At breakfast we sat next to my friend Debbie, Chris and their little girl Molly - they live about a mile away in Dulwich, and we met up for coffee in October 2005 when we both realised that we were in the same time frame for China.... so this morning it was so cute when they sat next to each other and they had done the same in the Thai restaurant last night...They will be seeing more of each other I am sure. Debbie and I are looking forward to pushing the buggies round the park together !

Today was another "waiting day" - we decided to set off with a map to find the Beijing Road, a long pedestrianised shopping street ...on the map it looked close, in fact it took about an hour to walk there.

Guangzhou Facts
Population: 6,560,500
Area: 7,434 sq. km
Annual average temperature: 71.55F

once there it was very busy, we were approached by lots of people trying to sell us a fake this and that, but impossible to do with child in a buggy. PS this morning we also bought one of those plastic clip and chain things to attach the dummy to her clothing, aha! what a good idea.... But nuh nuh...she managed to work out how to unclasp it within 2 minutes!

OK she is just 100% cute..........

or maybe 110% cute .......

Coffee on the way to the Beijing Road

This poor little mite was wearing all these clothes on a day when it was 19 degrees!

Every time any of us leave the building the guides look in horror at the lack of clothing that the children are wearing.....people in the street stop and comment...and that is in Guangzhou where it has been "cold" i.e. similar to the temps we have had in the UK - ie 10-15 degrees.....but just look at what their children are wearing and today we were down to T shirts!

Happiness on a BROWN SOFA ......

Americans who stay at the White Swan have this tradition of putting all the babies from one group on the Red Couch - they talk about this photo for ages and dress the kids up in Chinese outfits especially! so we decided to do a BROWN SOFA picture this afternoon before the others leave for England tomorrow ...we propped them all up and then one started screaming - they all looked around and set each other off!

Out Shopping....

Our Little Angel napping this afternoon before the photocall....

My Big Angel napping at the same time - one in each room!

Day Five

2007-01-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

Nelly's first shoes!...

the Family Norton

Think this is probably the first picture we have as a family the guide took it this morning when we went to the temple, lots of incense, people putting fruit nuts and flowers on the altar to the three enormous Buddhas. Today was the birthday of the Buddha so lots of people there.

Today was quite quiet - some other UK families arrived last night - so really nice to see familiar faces, we had lunch in the park and two other families joined us - sharing stories and letting the girls introduce themselves. We had had a bit of a disaster that afternoon - Nelly on the way to the mini supermarket to pick up some more baby wipes had dropped her dummy - we searched for ages...all around the shelves in the shelves, we retraced our steps twice, no luck,. So we decided that she could use the one that we had brought out with us( she had tried it earlier this morning and thought it was OK!!!) BIG MISTAKE once the dummy that arrived with her from the SWI ha gone she was accepting nothing less! we had her photos taken for the visa and then I spent ten minutes on my hands and knees looking under freezer units and shelf systems back at the same supermarket! Our hearts had sunk and by this stage we were getting grouchy with each other as she was gettin more grouchy from lack of dummy...also both feeling that this could be a major set back in the SLEEPING department...so having found nothing in the supermarket on the second visit - we walked back to the hotel and Rob suddenly started shouting THERE IT IS!!!!!! and ran across the road and dived under an black Audi! came out with said dummy /......so all is back on track, she is happy, we are happy everyone is lovely!!! PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

oh well another story for the day - now we need to decude what to do for the next five days - Shopping perhaps!

apart form that we gave the Americans a run for their money in the local Thai restaurant this evening when 4 UK families with two children and 4 babies turned up !

New News - we also bought the poor child a pair of shoes...for the grand sum of £2

New Shoes - Two pounds...

Miss Busy

Trip to the Banyan Tree Temple - Buddhas Birthday ...

Daddy Day with Nelly

all change....

Day Four ...

2007-01-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

Lunch al Fresco Guangzhou style

Don't Worry Isabelle I'll look after you ..

Weddings - Rent a frock on Shamian Island

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Daddy and Nelly!!

Dinner at our place when we get back!

Really - sorry for tortoise lovers Gabs don;t look! - think these are for the soup!

Is She yours! ...she is so sweet Bao Bao hao....

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The boys with their girls

a quiet day today and I promise not to bore for England on sleep patterns suffice it to say it is now ten o clock and she has been in bed since 8 15 with one minor hiccup when she lost that dratted dummy and could not get back to sleep...SO that is that subject closed!

Phew I hear you all say ...

Today we took her out in the stroller most of the day so her latest trick is to turn around and stand up! normally when we are chatting to other people in the lobby of the hotel! she loves the boys from one of the other UK families - she is a real flirt and not even one yet! and they were making her laugh this afternoon by sliding around the marble floor in the lobby!!

Nelly has the appetite of a horse - in the morning she has formula mixed with rice milk..then breakfast she has congee with honey ( basically rice boiled for hours in load of water until it turns into a sort of porridge...! ) she also has about half a banana, some orange, papaya and water melon! all fed herself! then at about 12 30 she has more milk and rice milk and today that was followed by lots of rice cakes and another half banana, at about 3 45 Rob and I grabbed a sandwich and she ate about three slices of cucumber minus the skin! then at 5 30 - 6 she has more congee this time flavoured with meat stock and then proceeded to eat some egg white from the boiled egg in my soup and a few plain noodles with a tiny taste of the soup!

We went back to the market today with the other UK family - will add more pics - it really showed the boys a true taste of China and this is one of the richer cities in the country... In the afternoon Rob had to go and pay the notary and collect all the official documents all done in triplicate; they went in a cab and took a shortcut through a totally Muslim area of the city at what he thinks was end of prayers at the mosque he said that the streets were so crowded people were pressed up against the car - a real eye opener as well I am sure he will tell you more when he sees you ..but not a great experience..they got back and then we wandered around collected laundry...

It is amazing how much we have come on as parents in the last few days - we are able to get up and out of the room in less than an hour! Bath time is still proving a little difficult for miss Nelly but I am determined to persevere..we manage to get most of the feeds done on time Rob is a master at bottle mixing and cleaning and is always on top of the change bag unlike me!!! Nappy changing is still a tad challenging she hates it, we forget and then tonight I let her wander around without a nappy so she could be free! OOOPS pee all over the cot! oh well something else to work on!

It feels so right having Nelly as our daughter - we could not have wished for more, she is a joy at every moment of the day and loves people, always smiling - she makes us laugh constantly, each day there is a new little trick that she has learnt from her Dad! I have stopped blubbing every time she does something wonderful though - although sometimes when she will not settle and cries hysterically it really upsets me as I do not know what to do..but I guess that will change the more she comes to trust us. Today when Rob went out to the notary she really cried when he left and then when he got back about two hours later she beamed when she saw him...

Tomorrow we are going to the Six Banyan Tree Temple - to see some large Buddhas and get a blessing may be a tad schmultzy but hey something to do on a saturday morning ion Guangzhou..our other friends from the UK should have arrived tonight so we hope to see them tomorrow- we could then have a big Brit dinner just like the Americans do - watch out Guangzhou here we come!!!

We have another six days here to fill and only one more appointment so we need to plan the time...shopping sounds good fake handbags and watches anyone!We thought we might buy shoes for Nelly through to when she is eighteen but guess she will not thanks us for a pair of un trendy shoes we bought in China in 2007 in about 12 years time!!!

Day Three ....

2007-01-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

She copies everything we do ...Wish she would copy us sleeping!!!!!!!!

Every day an adventure- last night I gave Nelly a bottle at about 8 30 - 9 as per her routine! well it was as if the bottle had been filled with blue smarties! She bounced off the walls for a few hours before crashing on the bed with us and falling into a deep sleep at midnight! I then moved her to her cot...this sleeping thing is baffling and the whole bonding / attachment thing becomes really difficult...if I leave her in a cot to bawl for more than ten minutes I feel that all the hard work done during the day in terms of her knowing who we are will be undone...but if I pick her up every time she screams she has one over us and that proverbial rod will be sticking out of both our backs within a few weeks!

So for the moment ( I am writing this at 11 45 in the evening - she is in her cot and has been sleeping for an hour but it was a struggle getting her to it. Tonight we put her in the cot and left her- usual bawling...took her out after ten/twelve minutes ( felt like an eternity ) realised I had forgotten the bottle so gave her that and bang went those bxxxxy blue smarties again! We were both lying in bed and she was taking my glasses on and off - jumping on Rob, rolling around and eating the remote control - she then did an enormous plop, so nappy change and then I decided I had to be the hard one - held her for about five minutes and put her in the cot to cry.. then she lay down and I moved the cot closer to my bed and stoked her arm through the bars and it did the trick - I think she then felt safe and knew we were both still there...But Hey it will all change again tomorrow so I will stop on the boring sleep stories for a while!

Over excited Nelly when she should be sleeping!

Today we had a later breakfast after trying to give her a bath - which she did not like at all - I had to jump in with her!.. We then went out for a walk to drop off some laundry at one of the many places on Shamian Island that caters for the soiled clothes of overseas adopters! we then ventured over the bridge off the ' security' of the Island and into the real Guangzhou. That meant markets with live scorpions, turtles, gerbils, rabbits and yes cats and dogs....it was interesting to see and then made it to a larger street with lots of shops selling fake anything and a MacDonalds as well as a Pizza Hut. On the way back we even saw the development for some luxury apartments that would not look out of place in Chelsea opposite these tiny workshops where people eek out a living selling what look like old car parts..strange that this place is changing so fast...

This afternoon was the trip to the police station - she had her pictures taken with her eyes closed! We then took the other family using our guide with us to the Carrrefour as their sister has bronchitis and had to go home with their Mum and Dad and we thought they may be bored. Tomorrow we are taking them to the market with the scorpions ! It was quite amazing wandering around Carrefour - so many brands, so much choice, our guide was telling me that when she was growing up there was nothing like this and it really has only escalated to this extent in the last eight years..quite an amazing thought.

Tomorrow we have a free day and then our other friends form our group will be arriving from Nanchang with their little ones.

Now the long old wait for her passport and visas next Thursday and we fly back to HK... in the meantime more time getting to know the funniest cutest bundle of fun that you could ever have hoped to adopt.!

PS I take some of it back about the Americans we met a family today who are staying here with their little girl and boy, they are lovely and from LA !!

Nelly's first outing to a Thai Restaurant where she sampled Satay....

An amazing laser show that happens every evening on the river to classical music

Day Two in Guangzhou

2007-01-24T03:51:00.000-08:00

we are officially yours now...!

I love Congee for breakfast - that is rice that has been boiled to within an inch of its life!!!!!!!!

We have now officially adopted Bai Xiao'en - soon to be known as Nelly Grace Xiao'en Norton. This is the other UK family who got their little girl Isabelle on the same day as us...

Last night started off quite well, played had milk etc etc...the fun started later when she decided that she was not going to let me sit down with her on my knee- so I had to walk the corridors until finally at 12 30 she fell asleep on my shoulder while I was leaning against a wall! she slept through until 7 and then we had to get her up washed dressed and breakfasted by 830 as we were then going back to the Adoption office - will I ever be able to have a shower alone again or a pee or poo come to think of it!

We got to the Adoption Office and as I had decided to put Nelly in the sling she had already fallen asleep and we had to wake her for the adoption certificate photo!... so by 10 30 Chin time we had officially been granted the order of adoption for Nelly!

Another sleep on the way home was followed by an afternoon of adoptoconomy shopping ( Little Chines dresses, shoes, hats, to shirts, jade, pearls Chines New Year decs, sil purses, lipstick holders, dragons etc etc etc etc ...) the sun came out today and we sat outside at a noodle restaurant and little Miss decided that she too wanted some of the soup as well as the meatballs and tofu! She also ate a good breakfast and this evening had banana and cheerios - Oh well best intentions start when we get home!....

Tomorrow we have the morning free and then off to Poice STation to apply for passport after that we ahve a number fo free days until we collect the passport and then see the British Consulate for a visa.

The NELLY has landed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-23T04:14:00.000-08:00

SO here she is ....this morning was spent wandering around the island - we bought a stroller and some juice, then bided our time until we had to leave for the Adoption Office. We left here at 2 10 - see pic of two nervous people sitting on the sofa trying to look cool. We were shown into a board room with another family from the UK
and told they would bring the children soon and we needed to have our papers ready

We were first...in came a bundle of gorgeousness in a little pink fleecy suit with an orange anorak! Luckily we had bought her an orange stroller earlier today.

She spent the first few hours bawling her eyes out, but once we worked out what her feed should be she seemed fine (albeit temporarily) Rob has spent a lot of time playing with her & she is very alert (in particular she loves it when Rob puts a plastic cup on her head so that it falls off & mimics the action of putting it n her own head almost perfectly)

Getting her to sleep seems to be the first challenge- we managed one session of about half an hour but I think she doesn't want to unless she finds out that she wakes and we have left her...so I think it may be a long night. We have ordered some room service! whether we will eat it is another question but at least she is happy to go to both of us so we get a chance to tidy up - My God you should see the room looks like a bomb has hit it!...I managed to take a few pics without her dummy but she is fairly reliant on it and I don't want to upset the apple cart too much! she is quite a fan of cheerios already too as these soothed her on the journey back to the hotel. She is fiercely independent and wanted to take the cheerios herself and eat them, same with the dummy it drops from her mouth and she is straight after it !

the pictures show me with her nanny from the orphanage and after we had gien her gifts and made the dontaion she left as it is a six hour journey back - that is when the crying started.!

more tomorrow - or maybe later ! we have to be at the Adoption office again tomorrow for more paperwork ...! fortunately there is one TV channel that shows films back to back so now there is star wars...sure there are some good things later

Today is the DAY - TUESDAY 23rd

2007-01-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Zebra just like the one we sent in the care package - will be taking this with us this afternoon to meet her...

So here we are, woke up yesterday morning in Hong Kong and it was the day we travelled to CHina. I had slept really badly and had been awake from 4 ....excited, nervous etc etc...So in the morning we wandered around Central looking at the shops - Rob in true style managed to get himself a couple of shirts in the sales....then we checked out of the hotel and took our train to China!!!!!!!!!!
what an experience, having got off the MTR in HK to then board a Chinese Railway train was amazing. I believe that often the trains that run the route from HK to Guangzhou are swish double decker affairs but we got the one with the dodgy white net curtains and the pale green un ironed badly fitting loose covers...

The train journey was very slow as it ambled its way through the New Territories and crossing the border into ShenZhen - a SPecial Economic Zone that was created by the Chinese right on the other side of the border. Another Hong Kong type place but in CHina. we then passed through very flat countryside with so much litter and pollution around and miles upon miles of factories splurging out black smoke. we took some video of this but do not know how to load onto this...

We got to the hotel at about 5 30 and then met our guide Janet Tao Qi - a lovely lady who gave us lots of advice on what will be happening in the next few days. So the cot is up, the clothes all unpacked - the baby bag is ready ....We are leaving here today at about 2 10 to go to the Civil Affairs Office. In the morning we will go out and buy a stroller and some formula, juice etc. Guangzhou is enormous and very polluted the whole place looks grey. Last night we ate in the hotel as we were too tired to explore. We met with one of the other UK Dads who had met their little girl yesterday, his wife Sally was in the room with her as the baby was crying a lot, he described the scene for today so we are prepared, I think we will be in a room with other people so we guess it will all be over quickly but will let you all know later.

The hotel is fine in an old colonial building on Shamian Island but the whole pace is set up for the Adoptoconomy with all of the shops geared to hiring out strollers etc

on the advice of a previous traveller we have booked two adjoining rooms so that means that we can let her sleep while we update blog, pack watch films etc in the next room ...Our guide was at pains to explain that the White Swan - the hotel used by most of the Americans is so expensive and you have to pay for internet connection ...the food is expensive, all in all we are happy with the Victory.

Rob is sleeping now as he too could not sleep last night and was awake at two thirty and woke me at 5 30...! He is now catching up as I guess there will be a whole load more sleepless nights to come!!!!

WATCH THIS SPACE ............

meeting Nelly tomorrow TUESDAY 23rd

2007-01-21T17:54:00.000-08:00

So we just got an email from our guide and we are meeting Nelly tomorrow afternoon at 2 30 in the Civil Affairs Office that is when most of you will be just about waking up at 6 30 so think of us then.

We are a mix of nervous, excited and a huge number of other things. We are just wandering around Hong Kong and Rob is waiting for some shops to open to pass the time before we check out of the hotel and head to the train station.

catch you tomorrow when we will officially be PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

First Stage of the Journey Completed

2007-01-21T03:03:00.000-08:00

Here we are - arrived in Hong Kong yesterday at about 5pm in the afternoon HK time. The flight was great,cannot recommend Air New Zealand highly enough, good flight, good food, comfy seats plenty of room ...last night we took a wander around Central and had some food in Pacific Place in Zen before a good nights sleep.

TOday we took the ferry and wandered around Kowloon, discovered a funny little market where we bought some Chinese New Year decorations ( I also managed to buy some pretty little pieces of paper, had no idea what they were until the woman behind the counter at the Armani Exchange told us that they are the pieces of paper that the CHinese burn at funerals to ensure the prosperity of the dead!!! Oops well I thought they were pretty! ) We had Dim Sum for lunch and tonight we are meeting another couple who are also on the way to Guangzhou at the Peninsula Hotel for a drink. Peninsula is probably the flashiest hotel in Hong Kong - it recently bought 14 Rolls Royce Phantoms for use by their guests - not sure we will look the part as we have not really packed the right gear to wear at a place like that !

Anyway we booked our tickets for Guangzhou this afternoon, we are leaving for China at 2 20 by train that way we hope to see some of China...

tomorrow .........

2007-01-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

we are off...

called Air NZ this afternoon to check that they have booked us a sky cot for the return and spoke to a lovely lady who is just starting the process to adopt from china..!!!!!!!!!! how bizarre is that , so just want to wish her lots of luck here is a photo of Nelly in case she logs on and has a look !

Three days and counting ....

2007-01-16T12:53:00.000-08:00

the bags are packed
the gifts are bought

AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
cannot really believe it we are leaving soon

last day at work tomorrow, Rob finishes on Thursday evening then leaving for Heathrow late afternoon Friday will be there at 7 00 ready for the 9 15 flight.........

we will be updating this site durign the trip..

THE FINAL PIECE OF THE JIGSAW JUST ARRIVED

2007-01-10T23:58:00.000-08:00

The final piece of paper the ITT - Invitation to Travel in now here, it arrived this morning at 7, without this we would not have been able to go....

Here it is ....also a pic of the happy gang on Monday having applied for the visas...Also a lovely picture of Delilah, poor little thing knows somehting is happening but is not really sure what!

Ten Days and counting

2007-01-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

Ok it is now less than two weeks until we fly out to HK....

Countdown, things getting organised, this weekend is the big packing moment and see how much stuff we have and more importantly how much it weighs!

I went with a couple of other people from the group to get the visa so I met Debbie at the station at six and we got to the Embassy at 7 15, to guarantee a good place in the queue. We were third in the queue and were then joined by Sally,Laure and Rinus who are all travelling out to CHina next week. it all felt a bit of an anti climax, we simply handed over the forms, the pics, passports and the letters of acceptance and were given a receipt and told to come back at 11 30 to collect"! Two hours in Starbucks sharing packing stories, what gifts to the buy the orphanage and which hotels to stay in...we headed back to wait in yet another queue, hand over the money and be handed the pasports with Visas for entry.

So that is that - today I booked the hotels in Hong Kong and ordered all of the currency then went to work to be distracted for a couple of hours.

So our schedule looks a bit like this ....

Friday 19th 21.15 flight to HK
Saturday 2oth 17 00 arrive HK check in to hotel
SUnday 21st visit HK
Monday 22nd check out get train to Guangzhou arrive 16 00 check
into hotel
Tuesday 23rd Meet Nelly
Wednesday 24th Adoption Procedures
Thursday 25th Police station for passport
Friday 26th rest - others arrive from Nanchang - meet Molly and Lucille and all the other little girls from Suichan SWI
Saturday 27th visit Guangzhou
or hang out with Debbie, Chris Gilles and Laure
Sunday 28th visit
Monday 29th hang out - shop...walk, play...be mummy and daddy
Tuesday 30th more of the above
Wednesday 31st Get Nelly's passport
Thursday 1st Feb Consulate appointment for UK Visa, leave for HK pm
Friday 2nd Feb HK with our daughter on our own...almost home
Saturday 3rd Feb fly home ....

TICKETS ARE BOOKED .............

2007-01-06T01:49:00.000-08:00

Gifts for the orphanage staff and children are bought, money is ordered, Monday I am up at the crack of sparrows to go the Chinese Embassy to get our visas...two weeks today we will be in the air on the way to Hong Kong on Air New Zealand, so the next few weeks are packing and getting all the paperwork copied and re copied and filed!....counting down....

happy New Year

2006-12-31T10:44:00.000-08:00

not posted for a couple of days...Xmas has been a bit of a roadtrip seeing friends and family, currently in Bournemouth staying with Gabs and Jonny for the New Year. A very wet and windy one, but it will be fun as usual too much good wine good food and lots of music...went out for a walk this morning and were almost blown way.!

Had an email from the guide today to say that the care package has arrived with her - so as I write she may be looking at pictures of us!

Just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to all - in about three weeks time we will be in China with little Nelly ....cannot quite believe it!

The Care Package Has Gone ..........

2006-12-19T13:47:00.000-08:00

On its way to Dianbai now is a little cardboard box - as a friend said yesterday to her daughter a Box of Love; filled with two disposable cameras, blanket, a little soft zebra and a photo album with pictures of us, her home, her cat, grandma, pappa, auntie and cousins...some chocolate buttons and fingers of fudge! it left the Phillipines a couple of hours ago and they anticipate that it will arrive on the 22nd....so maybe on my birthday she will be looking at picture of Rob and I on my birthday last year in Roast in Borough Market on a beautiful crisp sunny Christmas eve...

last few days have been a bit eventful too...Friday poor little Delilah had to have three teeth extracted and they have found she has a kidney problem ( £236 later ...) Saturday lunch in Brindisa in Borough Market with Frank and Kate later in the afternoon had an accident about two minutes from the house as I nipped out to get the final 11 Xmas cards!!!!! not only an accident but the other car was a Porsche!...... Sunday home late on Saturday evening no parking spaces parked in the disabled spot in the street ( the person for whom it was put there died about 4 years ago ) intended to move the car early in the morning ...ten o clock bang Parking ticket from some keen Lambeth Parking Attendant - £40 ! all in all expensive weekend....oh well we still got Nelly waiting for us ...and she will love the toothless cat - now know as Gummy Girl rather than Delilah...

Over and out in the meantime....

2006-12-15T08:15:00.000-08:00

ENJOY DEVON
SIMONE KIFF AND BRAM

End of an Era

2006-12-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

Another of our closest friends left London for the coast yesterday -

I met Simone in 1987 at work and have been best friends since then. In the trend towards moving out she put her house on the market in the summer....I looked at houses with her in Berkshire and Oxfordshire , found nothing suitable and then she found an amazing opportunity in Bideford, not as close to London but plenty of opportunity to develop and build etc and also to let Bram grow up in the countryside...

Anyway it will be weird - she has always been around the corner - we have had plenty of late nights, drunken New Years, Guardian Crosswords, Squash Lessons,Theatre trips, Suzanne Vega concerts, exercise stints,shopping sprees, having our colours done, cinema clubs, getting taxis to collect booze and fags for everyone at two in the morning in Tooting, choosing spectacles together, buying very 1980s suits together in Jane Norman! buying the best ever suits in Cerruti in the 90s, being the massage guinea pig, reading Chinese Horoscopes and believing them, accompanying each other to Mysteries to have our tarots read, been loud in central London restaurants, getting a whole restaurant standing on chairs in Kensington to the tune of We're Going up Sunshine Mountain', cooked more dinner party food in your house with our other great friend Emma than I can remember and more recently frequented the swings at Dulwich Park while waiting for Nelly - even one day losing her son Bram one hot sunny afternoon! only for five minutes don't worry! ...enough enough I could bore for hours about the good times we had so let's not get sad....

2007 New Beginning all round .........

I lent my vacuum cleaner so Ganka, our shared cleaner, could tidy up before the new people arrived and went round this morning to a very empty house...We had a brief farewell yesterday afternoon and decided that we should all now invest in Skype phones so we can conference call together at about 6 30 in the evening when we usually congregate at her house for a cup of tea or glass of wine ( usually the latter ) .. Anyway if you read this - Thanks Mate - for all the good times, the stair gates, playpen, changing station etc etc ....we sure are going to miss you and we will be down sooner than you think. Looking forward to picnics by the sea

Anyway China - our acceptance letter is in Beijing we now have to wait for the ITT..think we will book our tickets in the New Year and maybe go to get our visa next week....

Off now to collect the poor pussy cat who had three teeth extracted today ....
tune in again for next China update.....

Acceptance Letter on the way back to China

2006-12-13T03:50:00.000-08:00

the letter is winging its way to Beijing as I write - about four or five of us are sharing a courier to get the letters there so will be progressing its journey ..we then have to wait for what is know as and ITT Invitation to Travel...so left to do are the following....

1. Finalise the care package and mail to Orphanage... by the end of this week

2. Visas - we should wait for the ITT but people have got theirs with only an acceptance letter , so I may be off to the Chinese Embassy one morning early soon!

3. Currency - Unused dollar notes, at the moment it is v. advantageous exchange rate ..so that is good..

4. Book tickets - as we are traveling via Hong Kong this should be OK, hope to fly on January 18Th - we will then take a train to Guangzhou on the 21st Jan only 1.5 hours ...so am just investigating flight details - thinking of traveling Premium Economy to get some extra leg room

5. Pack!!! at least it will not be ridiculously cold as it would be in Beijing...so should be OK on that front.

6. Finalise details of the hotels in Guangzhou with our guide Chris Tao Ping. We then need to book hotels in Hong Kong for about two nights either side of Guangzhou...

In the meantime we are buying bits and pieces - Rob's latest purchase were some brightly coloured wooden letters to put on her bedroom door....now knowing Rob as most of you probably do, where everything is about empty surfaces, efficient hidden away storage and white walls you will be amazed at this picture!!!!!!!

Accepting Nelly...

2006-12-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

Still cannot help putting on another image of Nelly Xiao'En - En means grace ...

We had to have a meeting with the Head of Adoption at Lambeth today, we signed the acceptance letter and now this will be sent back to the DFES so it can be mailed back to China and they can issue us with what is known as an ITT - Invitation to Travel - then it is getting visas etc and then the wait to fly..we think we will be flying on or around the 19th / 20th January to Hong Kong and then fly / seacat onto Guangzhou we will then meet Nelly on the Monday 22nd -

here is the email from the guide!

Sunday you get to Guangzhou, Monday you get the child if we can get the appoitment for Monday, Tuesday have the adoption procedures, Wednesday go to the Police station for the child's passport, Thursday rest, Friday go to the notary to pay the notary fee and get the notary books and check to make sure no mistake, Saturday and Sunday visit in Guangzhou, Monday rest, Tuesday get the child's passport and Wednesday go to the Consulate for the visa in the morning, You can go home on Wednesday afternoon.

stay tuned....

HERE IS NELLY XIAO'EN

2006-12-05T06:24:00.000-08:00

A cutie if we say so ourselves !

how to cheer up a grey day in London

Dianbai ...

2006-12-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

this is where she is at the moment ....

She was born in the year of the Dog

thsi is where she is at the moment ....

People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people¡¦s confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit. ( I am a rabbit! )

We have a child

2006-12-02T02:26:00.000-08:00

called

Bai Xiao En born on Feb 28th 2006 and is at the Dianbai SWI in Guangdong....we do not have a photo yet should have one next week so will post that as soon as....The SWI is on tyhe coast about 150 miles south of Hong Kong...more to follow ...............

More confirmation that she is on her way

2006-12-01T00:26:00.000-08:00

got this email this morning from the Bridge of Love Adoption Service ......it is starting to feel really real

Dear Family

We are glad to inform you that CCAA has finished the new matching and you are lucky to be matched a child. CCAA has already sent the orgininal referrals to DfES the day before yesterday.

We have already got all the referrals for UK families from CCAA and sent them to be translated but unfortunately CCAA has not informed us the child's name to each family because they think it is fair to all the families. We are sorry we are not albe to send the translation to you at the moment. Please let us know your child's name when you receive the original referrals or when you got the name from DfES. We will try to send the translation to you immediately. Thank you for your understanding.

Have a nice weekend!

With Best Wishes

Consulting Department
BLAS

this is what the CCAA page said..................

2006-11-30T23:03:00.000-08:00

STOP PRESS referrals

2006-11-30T01:03:00.000-08:00

Louise is out so its my first post! & boy what a bit of news to report- the CCAA site updated about 20 minutes ago & it looks like referrals are in up to Sep 8th

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before September 8, 2005."

This could be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess Louise will post again later

Rob

2006-11-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

The hours are ticking by so slowly!!!!!!!!! quite busy with some work at the moment so it helps pass the time but we know it is getting nearer - we should hear that the referrals have been mailed to the DFES in the next few days so spend our time logging onto the CCAA website with regularity from about 6 in the morning -

Obviously CHina is 8 hours ahead so just about to finish work when we get up....if you are interested in watching too - then join the hordes that visit a site at the end of every month with ridiculous regularity; the Americans stay up all night and have cyber slumber parties while they monitor the site - only the Americans could do that,. We quite happily go to sleep knwoung we will find out when we find out and no amount of cyber sleep overs will speed up the machine that is the CCAA! http://www.china-ccaa.org/frames/index_unlogin_en.jsp - the box to look at is the right hand side called Documents Processing - we look at the bottom date that shows those papers that have been matched.......

Have spent a few rainy Friday afternoons in Mothercare World in Croydon with a printed out list from a previous adoptive Mum who very kindly compiled a list before she travelled and then subsequently updated it on her return ! Phew for not having to find a collapsible funnel!

The ladies in Mothercare Croydon were lovely and made me swear I would bring her back to meet them when we get home. Bought a few things like towels, cot sheets and blankets, some activity toys to take with us as these go down well.

We also bought things to include in the Care Package - this is a small package that you send before you travel to your child once you have had referral, it includes a disposable camera so that the orphanage can take pictures of your child with carers, with friends etc a small toy for her to have, a blanket and a list of questions for the orphanage to complete in Mandarin and English, some pictures of us, friends, house =, her room - these help to give your child a background to her life in her first year. It is somehting that you can use to start Her ' Lifebook ' - more of that later! ...Her room is looking a bit crowded at the moment - Simone has passed on her stair gates and a playden - in exchange we are giving her the double bed for her new house in Devon ! that is if she moves!!!

On Satuday we met up with a group of parents in waiting in China town - a very nervous and excited bunch as you can imagine. There was a family who got home about 8 weeks ago with their littel 23 month old Emily who was adorable ....

Anyway hopefully the next post will be to let you know that referrals are coming ....

Getting Closer all the TIme !!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-22T15:31:00.000-08:00

Our Queen - well the one that we bow down to in this overseas adoption game! Rumour Queen ....has posted that

A very reliable agency has let their people know that the CCAA has begun the matching process.

With the exception of last month, referrals generally arrive from one day to one week after this agency makes this statement.

Hold onto your hats guys and gals.....this world it is for the changing...!

Stand by your ....email ...news may be popping through soon....

made lists....been shopping ....began chanting ....

2006-11-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

DO you remember when you were a child and weeks and months went on forever, when Christmas always seemed about three years away and then you hit your twenties, thirties and forties and time literally does start to fly! One minute you have just stopped hoovering up the pine needles from last Xmas than the ads for this year's must have gifts are hitting our screens in September and it is countdown to Xmas...Well we are in that first stage - waiting for time to pass; and it is going so so slowly !

I am doing some work for some friends so that will kill two days or so a week, last Friday I decided to brave it and spent about an hour and a half in Mothercare World in Croydon with a list of things to buy as prepared by a very organised and helpful fellow adoptive Mum from the message board we use. ( Ellen you are a saint !) By the end fo my buying trip I had three huge bags and left with three of the Mothecare staff asking me to make sure that I brought the baby in when we get back from China!

And as for the chanting I did a yoga workshop this weekend and we were chanting to the Goddess Lakshmi - of abundance...so we chanted zto get our referral through soon....OM Shri Mahalakshmayai swahah .....well we try anything !

still waiting ...knowing it is getting nearer

2006-11-13T00:10:00.000-08:00

well still waiting ...November 13th ...middle of the month and the time is ticking nearer to the end of the month for the next batch of referrals we are crossing all fingers and toes that we will be included.

The weather has been unseasonally mild, Rob has realised that he had been saving up holiday days in the thought that we might have been going to China this year, so we decided that there was time for a weekend away. so quickly emailed friends by the seaside in Swanage and went down there for a couple of days ...we were on the beach every day in the sunshine , there were people swimming in the seas on Sunday! Had a great time with Lesley and Stephen and then back to London for my Mandarin class...

Mandarin - tackling tones can be fun, did you realise that the word ma can mean four things depending on how you say it --- could be confusing horse, hemp or mother!!!!!!

Referrals are in ....

2006-11-02T14:24:00.000-08:00

at last ...Rob called me to say that the CCAA site had been changed to tell all waiting that referrals had been matched to August 25th...that is less than a week's worth of paperwork to go before they get to us - to be precise they have five days and then they hit that large pile that constitutes the papers logged in on August 31st...feels good...

http://www.china-ccaa.org/frames/index_unlogin_en.jsp here is the site that is the one we check come the end of each month if you are interested, I know my sister is watching too...we are all waiting for Nelly...getting closer...

Wonder if anyone managed to catch the Madonna interview with Kirsty Wark last night on Newsnight, it was an OK interview, more interesting was the comment that followed by Oona King MP - who was an absolute star currently adopting herself, standing up for the fact that people adopt because they want to be parents whether the children they come from the UK or overseas...obviously the whole interview and the Madonna thing has raised column inches and web centimetres all over the place too many different issues to go into here but hey...

October Referrals will be with people tomorrow

2006-11-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

just read that an agency in the US has sent out a ' Stork Alert ' to all of its people who will be getting their matches ...runour has it that this batch will include people whose papers were logged in from August 9th - August 24th....so here is hoping that they get working quickly on the next in tray which will include our papers!....If anyone is still reading this then start crossing your fingers, toes...saying prayers if that is what moves you and generally keeping hopes up that next month will be the one when we hear about our little one as frankly I am getting a little bored of all this !!!!!!!!!!!

we have had a house full of people these last two weeks, so this weekend we are going to impose ourselves on friends who live near the sea in Swanage ( we went there last year when this blog started ! ) and then to a lovely looking hotel that I read about in Bridport and Rob has two days off next week..

anyway for now I will say Zai jian .....! and I can now count to ten in Mandarin if anyone needs help with their CHinese numbers!

Sick of Waiting

2006-10-30T03:36:00.000-08:00

OK OK so you all think we have the patience of saints ....but frankly we are sick of waiting now!!!!!

are we allowed to scream on a blog ....

it seems at the moment we are waiting for lots of things - we had a new patio laid in the middle of August and we are sick of waiting for the guy to come back and finish the job...sick of waiting for the roadworks outside our house to be completed ...sick of waiting for a parking space due to the roadworks in the street!!!!!!!!

Sick of waiting to hear about the October referrals...we do think that we will hear at the end of November. In the meantime we have had a number of visitors in the house..Clare, Beth and Anna were here last week for three days. then on Friday a friend's daughter arrived from Paris. She is looking for a work placement in London for next January / February.

These lovely apples were on sale in Borough Market - on apple day, and I thought it made a great photo - we have been eating lots of English apples - so we will carr on muching until we hear aboout Nelly!

Madonna and baby David ...............

2006-10-23T01:47:00.000-07:00

What a week.....this has been raging in the press and there has been much comment on the InterCountry Adoption message board that I use - with lots of points of view ...as well as many column inches, TV footage and hours of radio phone ins...( including one that I took part in ! called Vanessa Feltz to get things off my chest!) ...I believe she has done some thigns right and Many more things wrong...but one thing it has donw is raised the issue of InterCOuntry adoption....

Below is an article from the Scotsman written by someone on our message board and is a great piece on the whole thing....

Re Waiting - well we still are....Referrals are coming thorugh in the next week and rumours have it that it will take papers logged in up to August 23 / 24th....( we are 31st ) as soon as we hear anything I will update the site....take a look at the article and let me know what you think?

Love knows no borders
THE SUNDAY ESSAY
BARBARA FRASER
WHEN the news emerged that Madonna was the latest megastar to adopt from overseas my heart sank. As a parent of a daughter from China, adopted two years ago, I knew our very ordinary family life would be reflected and distorted through a celebrity lens. Intercountry adoption (ICA), at its simplest, is one way to create a family. It is also a complex lesson in humanity. At one level I am grateful to Madonna as, despite all the moralising that has gone on about her wealth, lifestyle and career, there have also been real efforts to explore the formal ICA system in the UK.
Becoming a parent in 2004 has absolutely eclipsed any achievement, personal or professional, of my previous 40 years. Being responsible for guiding a young life to be the best it can be is immense and humbling. Most parents will say the same. But knowing that the child you love without measure has already lost the primal love of a birthmother, culture and country, is a burden specific to intercountry adoptive parents.
This, I'm sure, will be in Madonna's mind. David Banda, the Malawian baby she has adopted, is now a child who will lack nothing materially but who will also receive (I hope) what his life in Africa lacked - a family to enfold him and bring him love.
Madonna adopted through the American system. My experience was here in the UK, where ICA is a long, hard slog that insists that your motivations, emotional baggage and capacity to parent are scrutinised in exhausting detail. The system, devolved to local authorities, is maddeningly inconsistent. Some families are told that ICA cannot be carried out in their area, some need to wait up to a year before the initial interviews can take place and timescales, while now regulated by law, are an elusive target. It seems to be a common experience that all families will initially be asked to consider domestic adoption, as local authorities have - understandably - these cases as a priority. We ICA parents come way, way down the priority scale, and we pay for the privilege - unlike domestic adoption.
My husband David and I started the adoption process in 2001 and adopted our daughter, Ailidh, in September 2004. Choosing to adopt from China was a 'kismet moment' that occurred to us almost simultaneously when we we hundreds of miles apart, but inspired by the same newspaper article. The knowledge that tiny babies in China were abandoned because of their sex, roused me as a feminist. As timid as I was regarding most politics I thought I could actually make a difference to one life.
The process, including airfares and accommodation in China, cost about £10,000. The Foreign Office got its share, and under the Adoption and Children Bill currently before the Scottish Parliament, the Executive is also lining up to charge an £800 processing fee.
Annually, just 4% of Scottish adoptions are intercountry ones. That means about 12 or so. In a year, the UK manages about 300 compared with France's 5,000 or Norway's 3,000. Why? Intercountry adoption is espoused by the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and the Hague Convention, of which China is now a full signatory. Attempting to adopt from overseas is not an illegal exercise, or an immoral one, although we are often made to feel it is.
Our daughter is now three. From the moment she was placed in our arms at 13 months, she has been told she was adopted. Her story is the same as that of thousands of Chinese baby girls. She was left at just three days old outside a hospital in a large city in southern China. She had no information with her and was placed with a care facility that looks after the elderly and those with special needs as well as abandoned infants.
As with all such children a 'finding advert' was placed in the regional newspaper providing the date she was found, where, a brief physical description ("rare hair") and a small photograph. On the day her entry appeared the paper carried another 200 similar ads. When she was six months old she was placed for international adoption and her file sent to the China Centre for Adoption Affairs, the Beijing-based government organisation that co-ordinates all of China's international adoptions.
The Chinese system allocates one child (or very occasionally twins) to each application. The waiting family here receives information about this one child and needs to agree to proceed. Both parents must travel to China to meet their child, and the paperwork in that country will take about 10 days to complete.
At the formal handover parents must meet with the orphanage director, or a provincial civil affairs official. The director wants to know that these babies will be loved, treated as your own and educated and cared for with every comfort you can offer. It felt as solemn an oath as a marriage vow.
Adopting from China has forged for us an inextricable bond with that country. In Edinburgh we attend cultural festivals or celebrate them at home; we are learning Mandarin. We remain in touch with our China guides and exchange presents for their small daughter; we sponsor the foster care of a girl with autism who will never be eligible for adoption and we still give to charities. I have taken on the Scotland organiser role with Children Adopted from China (CACH) and through it we hold gatherings for Chinese New Year, Christmas and midyear for all the families in Scotland who have adopted from China. It is not enough, but we try.
We are now also going through the process to adopt again from China. We and our daughter so want her to have a little sister from China - and as her nursery friends get little brothers and sisters she tells them that "my sister is in China".
Our daughter's destiny will be her own, and buoyed, I hope, by knowing that our love for her is unconditional. As any parent would say.
And Madonna? I cannot believe that anyone could bring a child into their hearts and not try to make a world for them too. It might be the making of her. It was of me.

buenos dias de Gran canaria ..........

2006-10-07T02:45:00.000-07:00

waiting is getting harder and the people in the same group as us - all waiting are getting impatitent and despondent....so we went off for a holiday - We have been in gran canaria for a week watching amazing sunrises over the Sand Dunes and lazing by the pool all day reading endless books - knowing that the next holiday we take will be a very different one !

Last night was Moon festival and it was so clear here it wasamazing just to sit in the br by the pool and watch the moon as it shifted, knowing that in China there would have been lots of people watching - maybe even Nelly´s mother....
anyway back to the pool for the last day ....

September Referrals are in..........

2006-09-25T01:17:00.000-07:00

logged on to the CCAA website to see if there was news of the Sept referrals...they have matched up to August 9th - (remember if anyone is still reading !) our papers were logged in Aug 31st ...........getting closer , so they have managed to match 18 days worth of papers this month - if the same continues we will be referred in November that would mean travel in January.....but it is too hard to speculate and we just have to sit and be patient...we are on the homeward run....!

more rumours

2006-09-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

I have tried not to look at them but it seems as if there is a rumour going around that this months' referrals will take us up to August 15th....got quite excited when I read this .. but took a long deep breath and thought I must not let myself get too excited.

Yesterday bit the bullet and booked another holiday - that way hopefully the wait will be shorter. One week in a funky looking hotel in Gran Canaria - if anyone is still reading this drivvle then you can find the website at http://www.seaside-hotels.de/ - go to the Palm Beach - it is very seventies having been updated about four years ago...

now it is cooler and not raining I have taken to hacking away in the garden - bought lots of Alliums and finally got around to diggin up really bad turf and moss form one side of the garden so I can put down some gravel to create a seating area under the pear tree...might be abit dangerous at this time of year though as I spend most days picking up rotten pears! also cut the hedge today - is this some sort of surreal nesting! I seem to remember my friend SImone laying a patio when heavily pregnant , perhaps this is the adoptive equivalent!

will keep the blog updated once I know about the September referrals - should be hearing things in the next few days

Over and out

2006-09-14T02:03:00.000-07:00

slow slow slow .....the sun has almost stopped shining and we really thought that we may have had a referral by now but things in China are going at a snail's pace.

These are some pictures from my week staying on my sister's farm. We did lots of lovely things like mushrooming, blackberrying and feeding the calves....as well as taking my nieces to see the film Cars that was surprisingly good - I was quite surprised!

Re CHina and the never ending wait - There is a scarily addictive blog that I try not to look at too often - it is called Rumor Queen ( US site ) and it looks at referral dates and talks to all the adoption agencies over there - they seem to think at the moment that referrals this month ( end September ) will cover half of August papers and October referrals will cover the remaining August papers - that would be us ....but who knows I thry not read those sites otherwise it could send you completely bonkers!..

IN the last couple of weeks there has also been a number of articles talking about intercountry adoption in magazines - a particularly awful one in a new magazine called In The Know - that talked about baby tourism and adoptive parents arriving in hotels in CHina to look at a line up of babies and choose...complete rubbish!....I was so angry on reading it I had to bin it straight away ...so don't look. On the other hand there is a great article in Red Magazine this month which really looks at the issues and examines why people decide to adopt from another country. Well written without any sensationalism....

August referrals Update

2006-08-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well ..the referrals are in as usual at the end of the month ....a real pain they have only completed another nine days worth - so papers have been matched up to July 22nd 2005 - so another disappointing month. I can only put it down to the fact that the CCAA in Beijing moved office last month, or is this wishful thinking.

Well in the meantime I have done a couple of weeks freelance work back at Meteorite. And I am now in Cholmondely staying with my sister and her family. It was Anna Boo's 4th birthday on wednesday and she had a party. Her Mummy had made her a cake in the shape of a sweet house. I will post pictures at a later date when I get back home. Rob is at home with our friends Ginny and Kelly from Tobago, ginny has been having cardiac consultations and they needed somewhere to stay this week. I am back to London on Saturday morning - ready for Bram;s birthday party on Monday morning - what a social diary I have one week a party full of four year olds the next one for three year olds!

Big news is Rob has traded in a Jag for a 'family ' car! he has been in mourning ever since and will be checking into M&S fofr a pipe and slippers - he has bought a diesel Saab Estate - which should save lots in fuel every week....

over and out until any more rumours appear about referrals.

Hungarian Cousins are in town

2006-08-09T01:11:00.000-07:00

Last week catering queen, this week - Tour Guide Extraordinaire!

Rob's cousin Tibor, with his wife Ica, son Gergei and daughter Kata are in the UK for a week, so spent time with them showing them the sights, did Harrods, St Pauls, Tower...then a trip on what must be the last remaining Route Master in London a number 15 from the Tower back to Trafalgar Square ...

So ...next month I am going to be going to the Top Drawer exhibition to help my cousin on a buying trip for her bew business!!!

August 2006

2006-08-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

The anniversary of our papers going to China - Rob reminded me last night that I have not updated the blog for ages ....so here goes!

Referrals received at the end of July are in for people whose papers went to China last July ....I heard this morning of a couple we met at a lunch organised for all the people whose papers whent to CHina last July / August....and they received their referral yesterday when they got back from holiday! I sat next to them at lunch so am starting to feel a little more hopeful and that things are actually happening!

I have been busy these last few weeks! SPent last week on the Meteorite boat catering for clients - Hugh ( meteortie ) kindly let me try out my catering skills on their clients and contacts when taking them out on the boat over to Cowes weeks to experience the Regatta. My wonderful friend Gabs also kindly let me stay with her in her fab new house in Bournemouth and even kinder let me use her brand new kitchen to prepare food every evening for the following day!

I think food was enjoyed by all...Hugh particularly liked the Fruit Loaf and Miss Marina loved the meringues! We had some eventful days - the picture of Hugh in the RIB ( Rigid Inflatable Boat ) is on the day that it broke loose from the main boat, closely missed being run over by a supertanker and then we circled the boat before Hugh then had to jump to rescue it ! all quite exciting ...not many photos as I ran out of battery ...

The gorgoeus little boy on the beach is my Godson James - Gaby's son we spent Sunday afternoon on the beach having an ice cream and looking for shells!

another annoying celeb getting in on the act!

2006-07-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

An article appeared in the SUn last week about Madonna and Guy planning on adopting a child from overseas! ...apparently they were not happy with the UK agency they had a meeting with !! WHAT UK Agency - they have to go through their local authority - imagine being the Social Worker in Wiltshire or wherever they live poking around their house and getting them to answer lots of questions about their relationship, their upbringing etc etc!! Seems to me they would prefer a US agency as it is a whole lot quicker....GGGRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH....seriusly gone down in my estimation

It looks like the queen of pop Madonna is all set to follow in fellow celebrity Angelina Jolie's footsteps by adopting a child.
The 'Hung Up' singer is said to be keen on having more children with hubby Guy Ritchie, but having another biological child may not be possible given her struggles with her previous pregnancy.
The couple has also supposedly consulted adoption agencies in both the UK and America, and have also turned to pal Brad Pitt for advice, along with hiring his adoption lawyer.
A source revealed that the couple were serious about adopting a baby, and will begin the search for their next tiny tot after Madonna's Confessions world tour winds down in October.
"Madonna and Guy are serious about adopting a baby. They had a meeting with a British adoption agency but were not satisfied that it was the right one. So they found another agency in America and had a meeting with them about becoming parents to an orphaned baby," The Sun quoted the source, as saying.
Madonna and Guy's kids, especially daughter Lola, are also said to be looking forward to the new arrival.
"They both love children and are desperate to expand their family. Sadly Madonna has not managed to get pregnant again. They have discussed the plans with the children and Lola, as they call Lourdes, is very excited about the prospect of getting a new brother or sister," the source added. (ANI)

Update

2006-07-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

It is always about this time of the month that news of referrals start to come through. Rumours on the Spanish sites are that those people whose papers were logged in before July 13th last year will receive their referrals this month. As we are LID ( logged in date ) was August 31st - we have a bit longer to wait.

So what have we been doing whilst waiting...we have had a number of visitors - My mUm came to stay week before last and we went to Hampton Court Flower SHow which was lovely - will add some pictures. My poor garden is looking quite sad now - I bought some lovely new plants and desperately nurturing them so they don't die in the drought, last night even the hardy shrubs like the Lilac and the Forsythia was wilting and I had to pour buckets of water on them to get them to revive. Also been getting ready for my catering job at Cowes so Rob has been eating some lovely food recently !

We decided to get ahead and went and had our jabs for China yesterday morning - my arm is really sore now. I started looking at baby things on ebay and bought a great buggy last night - my first ever purchase on ebay - better stop now before it becomes a habit!!!

July 4th .................

2006-07-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Hot Hot Hot....32 degrees in London .. and although England are already home after the World Cup we still have a team to watch and support..of course RobERTO is coming home to see Italy play Germay ....he was quietly confident this evening even though I sorely doubted their performance and Germany must surely score....Rob got home ..tucked into a supper of squid with avocado and tomato salsa - thank you Nigel Slater....... and settled in to cheer on his second team ( for those of you who are still reading this and do not know Rob's mother was Italian so he now has a second team and as such so do I ..although what I do tomorrow when France take on Portugal could become difficult!) so he is a happy bunny tonight!

June referrals are in

2006-06-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

People whose papers went to China last June have received their referrals - only a few more months to go ...

Have started to make lists of things that we will need to get together before heading off. A very organised person who left for China last week has handily compiled some lists for packing and taking with - includes everything from sellotape, tupperware boxes, cheerios to collapsible funnels! ...looks like there will be no room for our clothes !!! need I say more...

came back from a week in Mallorca week before last - it was good..here are some images of Mr N enjoying himself on his holidays and on his birthday - in front of the boat he wanted me to buy him for his birthday !

infuriating Celebs and their easy route to adoption!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

Heard on the news that Angelina ( not a favourite in our household ! ) was on TV being interviewed just a few weeks after giving birth to her and Brad's child talking about how she would like to adopt another child!

Here is a dreadful article that appeared in the LA Times - I only copied the first bit about the pros and cons of adopting from China - but it carries on to talk about all the other options that she could look at .............It makes you want to scream

On the upside heard today on the message board that referrals are comoing through for all those people whose papers went to CHina at the end of June last year...it is creeping slowly towards August....lets hope that the CCAA ( China Center for Adoption Affairs ) speeds up a little after they move office ! Here's to efficiency and productivity...

How to Shop for Kids the Brangelina WayAngelina's "looking at different countries" to find another child toadopt. We weigh some likely possibilities.By Leslie Gornstein, Special to The Times

Less than a month after giving birth to her first biologicaldaughter, Angelina Jolie said Tuesday that she plans to adoptanother child. The Oscar-winning actress already has two adoptedtykes â€" a boy, Maddox Chivan, from Cambodia, and a girl, ZaharaMarley, from Ethiopia. Jolie also has her hands full with new babyShiloh Nouvel. (We hear Shiloh's father is an actor.)"We're looking at different countries," Jolie told CNN's AndersonCooper. "And it's gonna be the balance of what would be the best forMad and for Z right now. Another boy, another girl, which country,which race would fit best with the kids."

Now that Cambodia and Ethiopia are, you know, so yesterday, wheremight the next Jolie-Pitt adoptee be? Some likely possibilities:

CHINAThis country is like a machine " an adorable, adoptable-children machine. More than 7,900 rugrats adopted last year came from China.If Jolie seeks her next child in this country, she'll most likelyget a girl; only 5% of available children are boys.Estimated total cost: $20,000 to $25,000

Upside: Babies! Squadrons and squadrons of little babies!Downside: Only a limited number of singles may adopt. (Theexception: special-needs kids.) And when Jolie isn't growing herfamily, she's busy denying marriage rumors. Also, Jolie would haveto go through an agency approved by the Chinese; no privateadoptions permitted. That could mean less discretion than thepublicity-picky star might like.

Likelihood: Low. Jolie already has two girls. Add a third, and thatmakes for a perilously outnumbered Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt. Joliesays she wants "balance," which probably means a boy, and China isn't the most logical place to find one.

RUSSIAThis country is the second biggest supplier of adoptable moppets.More than 4,600 kids came from Russia last year.Estimated total cost: $30,000 to $40,000Upside: Ample pickin's. Ratio of boys to girls is 1 to 1. And ifJolie's plans for "balance" call for an older child, this is also agood country; in 2004, almost half of the children looking forparents were ages 1 to 4.Downside: No private adoptions here either. And maybe some badblood. In 2004, British and Russian papers buzzed that Jolie waspreparing to adopt a Muscovite orphan boy named Gleb. If there wassuch a failed plan, then Jolie's relationship with the Russians maybe as frosty as a St. Petersburg ice sculpture.Likelihood: High. Unless the Gleb tale is true. Then low.

First Full week not working !

2006-06-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

and what a week - gloriously hot weather....has seen me in the garden taking in some rays and pottering around with watering cans to keep all of the seedlings that I planted out this week alive!

The garden is looking great but with this very hot weather and us off to Mallorca tomorrow for a week I think there may be a few casualties, it is easy to ask a neighbour to water the garden when you can use a hosepipe but lugging watering cans around is a pain in the neck!! So I am secretly hoping that it is going to rain next week Sorry!

Popped into Meteorite today to catch up with everyone after I had my hair cut and highlighted ...see new look above - self portrait not bad!

Bank Holiday Weekend in the country!

2006-05-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend with my sister and nieces on their farm....lots of walks with the dog and watching out for cows about to give birth....also lots of talking about the weather!

Here is a picture of my sister and nieces Beth and Anna in their boiler suits. We also went to Liverpool for the day on Friday and spent the afternoon in the Walker Art Gallery - some great dressing up moments there too!

Last week at work ...

2006-05-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

Good bye to Meteorite..agency life - for a while ...here are some pictures of my friends at Meteorite where I have been working for the last two and a half years...I am sure that they will see me once we come back and I will be getting them to help me lug the buggy upstairs to introduce them to our new addition...! see you all soon!

waiting ....

2006-05-15T06:26:00.000-07:00

People we know are flying out this week to China to collect their little girl, their papers went to china last May so it does happen eventually....

In the meantime we are still enjoying oursleves while waiting - I finish work next week so then my plans for different businesses will kick in !
At the moment I am planning on doing catering - I cook you Freeze style - home baked food cooked the way you would leike to but don't have time for ...I then deliver to order...that is the plan at the moment anyway ...

have booked our last holiday before China ( We hope!!) a week in Spain, relaxation, and obviously some shopping for Mr N!

The house is now absolutely perfectly tidy and ready to welcome new addition...have not really bought anything yet all still feels too soon - although Rob has started turning down pages in catalogues of things he wants to buy! Time to put some visual imaegry up on this site otherwise all too boring - here is a picture of what will be Nelly's room....Obviously no cot in there as yet! or children's decorations!

Message from BLAS

2006-05-09T00:56:00.000-07:00

Bridge of Love Adoption Service is an organisation in CHina that manages a huge amount of intercountry adoption work ....most UK adopters pay them about £100 to join - which includes translation of all files after referral; they also let you know when the papers have been logged at the CCAA. known as the LID Date - all very important in the world of waiting!

Anyway we know or think that our papers were logged in August 31st, we know from someone whose papers are in the same batch as ours that their papers are now officially in the Matching Room....so it is another step closer...

Referrals update

2006-04-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

From the China Center of Adoption Affairs website ....

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before September 30, 2005. ( that means that ours has been reviewed we had a logged in date of August 31st - so our papers have been looked at and are now in waiting ....)

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before June 6, 2005. ( so there are still quite a few people ahead of us....in teh queue , the seem to be moving very slowly which is not good and only seem to be referring about a weeks worth of documents ....perhaps it will speed up ! wishful thinking ! )

Until the next update

Louise

some info from a message board we use

2006-04-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

THis came from a US Site about the current situation with the CCAA in China - the people who look after matching and referral -

"This past Thursday CCAA met informally in New York with 13 adoption agencies,includingAAI. The main topic of discussion was the current wait time and what to expectfor thefuture. It was explained that time frames may continue to lengthen due to thefollowing:--CCAA has now become responsible for domestic adoption in China and this newresponsibility is taking much attention. We agree that domestic adoption inChina shouldbe a priority and support CCAA in their attention to developing this program.--The economy in China is getting stronger and there are fewer children beingabandoned.The focus of CCAA with regard to international adoption seems to be shiftingtowardspecial needs adoptions. There is a plan in place to shorten this process andto updatethe administration of it.CCAA recognizes that families in process may reach the end of their immigrationapprovalperiod, and they have encouraged agencies and families to appeal to USCIS tolengthen theapproval period, much like other countries that give approval for two or threeyears. CCAA has taken note of the fact that families want updated medical information,especiallyfor children with special needs.CCAA addressed the recent rumors of child trafficking and have assured us thatperpetrators have been brought to justice. Punishments were harsh, and much attentionwas given to the crime in Chinese media."

February in Madrid!

2006-04-06T04:09:00.000-07:00

At the end February this year we went for a weekend with our good friends Kate and Frank for a weekend in Madrid...did lots of shopping, eating out late....getting wet in the rain and complaing about lack of taxis! Stayed in a great hotel...did lots of tapas with our friend Raquel, little bit of culture and Kate had to have Churros.!!...

The Matching Room !!!!!!

2006-04-06T03:37:00.000-07:00

The Matching Room

Hopefully our papers are in there now with loads of others....

Meeting other people who are waiting

2006-04-06T03:21:00.000-07:00

At the weekend we met with a group of other people whose papers were sent to China with ours last August - it was good to meet other people who are in the same waiting boat!

The Yahoo groups offer some great support and information - but can slowly drive you potty so the reason for this blog is to share with friends and family the waiting game...what we are doing to pass the time and update you on progress.

Last week we heard of a couple we know in Fulham who received their referral picture, they have been matched with a cute little one. We met them at a neighbour's party Xmas 2004 and their papers went to China in May 2005 ( ours August 2005 ) so it means that we still have to wait for those people from June and July ahead of us in the queue....The next step for us is to get this picture with the health report and then say yes...

Our papers I think are in the matching room now - There are some amazing photos of the matching room that I will try and link so that you can see hopefully where our papers are in Beijing....

Weekend by the Sea ....

2006-04-05T09:29:00.000-07:00

Rob and Louise

What we are doing while we wait....!
We spent a fab weekend in October in Bournemouth with our lovely friends Gaby and Jonny and my godson James - this was on the beach at Southbourne near where they live...

2006-04-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

waiting for nelly part one

2006-04-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

this is the first blog that I have set up, learnt how to do it from the TV this morning - we are waiting to adopt our first child from China and really wanted to set up a little blog to share information with all those people who keep asking questions and to post pictures in the futrue before we go....when we are there and when we come home...